TAKEN reboot idea.

Idea for a reboot of the TAKEN movie series: It will still star Liam Neeson, but this time around Liam plays himself as he goes to different fancy Hollywood parties and takes various dumps in the upper tanks of famous people’s toilets then calls them with his slow voice and tells them that “You’ve been Taken.” As in “he’s taken a shit” in their commode. Even if there’s like 17 toilets in the house, he’ll shit in them all. Big logs. Celebrities are like “How did he shit in all of them!?” (Spoiler: he smuggled in a duffle bag of his own turds.) Eventually, after many adventures of him shitting in famous peoples toilets, he’s gets banned from attending parties, so then he goes undercover as a waiter. Larry David will overhear a guest asking, “Where did that tall waiter go?” and he’ll scream “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” right as his phone rings. It’s Liam Neesom. “Larry…you’ve been taken.” Eventually he goes undercover as a valet at fancy restaurants and drops turd coils in people’s center console. Brad Pitt will get in his car…”What's that smell? Noooooooo!!!” His phone rings. It's Liam. “I have a certain set of skills: taking a shit in yo whip. You’ve been taken.”

As the movie series gets on to like installment 5 or 6, Liam starts upperdecking regular people's houses and in one scene in Part 9 he’s seen slowly skateboarding alongside one of those food delivery robots. His pants at his ankles as he quickly poops inside the robot. Next scene, a poor dude opens up the robot to grab his order of pickles and there’s a coiled up circular turd on top of his food with a business card that says “You’ve been taken. [heart] Liam Neeson.”

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A few extra ideas: he eventually gets a nemesis who’s toilet he can never upperdecker. "I will find your toilet." I’m thinking maybe it could be a prequel with Carl Sagan as the man who’s toilet he could never upperdecker. It haunts Liam and drives him onward after Carl’s death.

After around Part 12 or 13, I’ll grow tired of the series and sell the idea to a large corporation who will have Laim driving around in a double-decker bus (with the steering wheel in the upper deck), but audiences will not like the idea being made into a joke and they’ll hire me to revitalize the series with a fresh script. In this new installment, the story will be darker and Laim will hire a ninja to hunt him and try to attack him 24/7. Especially when he’s undercover at a fancy dinner party. (Think Cato and Inspector Clouseau, but way more violent.)

Random Newspaper Clippings That Don't Have a Place on Happyotter, Volume 21

HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II (1988) side snarling cat

Just another daydream I had last night while at a concert.

Happyotter Image

Richard Pointing at Gillian Dods

Saw that basketball thing in the news and it made me think of this.

IMDb should just put me on their payroll at this point.

For many years now IMDb has been taking my screenshots and putting them on their website. Thousands of them by this point. I really don't mind since most of them are just screenshots off of movies that I review, but the thing that irritates me is they put ads around the pictures. Seems pretty scummy to me, to make cash money off of my labor of love. I don't even make money off this shit! haha.

Here is an example, from my review for RACQUET. All of those are my screenshots.

Free Concert Flyer Templates, Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Jim's Pizza. McKinney, TX

While looking for old movie ads, I kept seeing ads for a pizza joint in McKinney, TX called Jim's Pizza. I was curious, so I gathered a few together. I might add more later on if I see any.

Next James Bond

I don't know if they ever announced the next James Bond or not, but I think Krys Marshall would make an excellent Bond. Just my two cents.

Midnight Horror Movie Theater Riot

TV Detective.

Daydreaming about an old hard-boiled fictional detective (like Sam Spade or ol' boy from Justified), but with a brain kinda more into problem solving (like Sherlock Holmes or Adrian Monk). Many years into his career he notices a pattern that he has only shot bad guys on Sundays. Never on any other day. And even then, only like 10 a year. And always 10. He's only shot 10 bad guys a year and only on Sundays for the last decade. Even though he's in his late 40's. He starts investigating himself and comes to realize that he is in a TV show.

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY GIRLS newspaper ad censorship.

I'm guessing this 1983 newspaper ad for SAN FERNANDO VALLEY GIRLS was too risque for the sensitive citizens of Nashville back in ye olde 1983. First ad is from Nov. 04, 1983 and the second is from Nov. 11, 1983. You'll notice that the second ad has the actresses' sinful underboob covered up by what looks like a marker.

Shameful. The censorship, not the ad.